Letter to the Man i'll Love

The Past - I've broken a few hearts in my day. I spent years chasing the inconsequential. I was insensitive, selfish and insecure. I was... a girl. One day, I had my own heart broken. I deserved it. For years pain hemorrhaged relentlessly from the wounds of my broken heart, enough to debilitate emotionally without actually killing. I realised I wasn't worthy of you yet. I had to grow up. In time, I accepted I had to prepare myself for you. The man I wanted to be with deserved better than the girl that I was. I had to strive to improve for you. I had to take, fail and then pass life's test. Years later, I emerged weakened but with a new mature perspective on life. I collected the fragments of my shattered heart and used the strength of the hands of time to heal it for you. I had to earn the right to be with you. I had to become a woman worthy of your company. I walked away from loves that weren't as great as what you and I would one day build together. I began my journey filled with emotional turmoil, constant personal reflection and self-doubt. I emerged a woman.


The Present - Every word on Love I've written has been a subconscious dedication in your honour. Every weight I lift, physical and emotional, is meant to ensure I can support you when the time is right. I've reached a point in life, career, and personal growth, where I feel I'm ready for you. But rather than grow complacent, I continue to strive for improvement. I genuinely look forward to being the woman you choose to allow in your life. I vow not to take you or the gravity of your choice for granted. I want you to feel confident in your decision and trust in my words, because my actions always serve to reassure you. I want to remove the doubts you ever had about true Love. It will no longer matter what you went through apart from me. As a part of me, you will trust that I will take care of you.


The Future - I have daydreams of saying "yes" before you with knowledge that we've found something exceptional in each other. Having witnessed the Love we've nurtured, the congratulations of friends and family will flow freely. I imagine how beautiful I'll look on our wedding day. I see myself trembling with anticipation, struggling to hold it together as tears of joy plead for a late invite. I'll stand taller than I've ever stood as the weight of patiently walking towards you, my husband, the man I will Love, finally lifts from my shoulders as I approach you. You will have been worth every passing minute. Standing a mere few feet from my destiny, your hands clasped in mine, in the radiance of your beauty I see reflections of our son's contagious smile. I secretly wonder if the joy in our daughter's eyes will reflect from irises more reminiscent of yours or mine? The melodic rhythm of our unborn children's adolescent laughter is the soundtrack to the visions of the family I look forward to raising with you.


When I finally gather myself I realise, for now, it's all vivid fantasy of the man I'll Love. Sometimes  wonder if you're out there, wherever you are, having similar dreams of our life together...

Universal Language Of Kindness

Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful... :) (: =) (= (",) 

Give me the magic... :)

Fall seven times, stand up eight!

A smile has its own meaning that I can never explain and even you can never understand...

A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last for a lifetime.

A Beautiful Mess*

I chose to upload this song today, because it's a song that really describes what my personality is and usually how I feel.
Jason Mraz is one of my favourite artists and I strongly advise you to take your time and listen to his tracks :)

I'm a beautiful mess... :)

You've got the best of both worlds.
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man, 
And lift him back up again.
You are strong but you're needy, 
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language, 
And shotty cursive I've been reading.
Your style is quite selective, 
Though your mind is rather reckless.
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is.

And what a beautiful mess this is,
It's like we're picking up trash in dresses.

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives.
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction,
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are...

Although you were biased I love your advice.
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities.
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging.

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades,
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard.
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, Here we are.
We're still here. What a beautiful mess this is.
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes.

And through timeless words, and priceless pictures,
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn, and hearts disfigure.
But that's no concern when we're wounded together,
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts.
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

The Complexity of Interest

Liking someone has got to be the most draining and horrible thing a human being can go through. And i’m not only talking about a situation when the feeling isn’t mutual.

From my point of view, when you like someone you have to go through so much change. It feels like a whole long ass time-consuming process...  

It feels like you have to hold in your emotions . You can never really express how you truly feel because it might either be too forward or too soon. There’s never a right time for anything. As a matter of fact, never mind a right time,  there is never A TIME to say anything because both human beings are too caught up in the heat and excitement of things, that they never stop to think if in fact that is what they really want and if it’s wise to go through with whatever they are doing. And at the end of the day after all is said and done, one soul always ends up getting hurt...

And then there is the part where you have to compromise, because if you really want something to work out properly, YOU HAVE TO COMPROMISE. Not everybody is the same. People have different habits, different ways of acting and different ways of looking at things or situations. So you have to make sure both of you don’t clash, and in order for that to happen you have to compromise.

Compromising means: a settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions; letting your guard down at times; leaving your pride aside whenever you have; making yourself vulnerable whenever you have to; sometimes willing to do certain things, you would not want to do, whenever you have to... That is A PROCESS!

If you ever stop to think about things properly, whenever there are feelings involved, either one of the human beings involved WILL for a fact get hurt. No matter how this happens, ONE soul is guaranteed to get hurt.

I just can’t understand why can’t shit just be simple?

I want you. You want me. Let’s cut to the chase and let’s stay together. No funny games, no lies, no trying to act hard. Just plain straight forward, let’s date and do this together till infinity. Just think before you approach each other, know what’s on the plate, be sure of  what you want and at the end of the day, no one gets hurt.

You want me. I don’t want you. Fine, it’s not happening. It ain’t gonna work. We both make that clear. You don’t chase after me because you know I don’t want you, and I just do my own thing because I also know that I don’t want you. No funny games, no lies and no bullshitting. We both move on and we’ll both be happy.
I want you. You don’t want me. Fine. No funny games, no lies and no bullshitting. I get sad, I move on. You do your own thing and we both end up being happy.

It’s SIMPLE like that! It could all be so simple...

Portugal Holidays 2011*

I was just listening to Maria Gadú - Lounge and a nostalgia for Portugal instantly hit me... :') I miss and I absolutely LOVE that country, the people, the places, the food... practically EVERYTHING :) 

At Colombo Shopping Centre in Lisbon

Mamy and I at Praça da Oliveira in Guimarães

In the metro in Lisbon

At Monte da Penha in Guimarães

At Monte da Penha in Guimarães

Lisbon*

Reminiscing... :)

I can't believe that it has already been a year since we took these pictures... And I miss you all more than ever... :')

Antes de um txilling basico :P

At News Café with my CRAZY hommies! :D

Twiiiiin volta logo :(

At Nuninho's surprise bday party :')

Longing, Belief, Hope, Faith and Love...

Sometimes I cry... I cry to let everything out.

Everything that is bottled up inside me.

Everything I am not allowed to say, feel or show...

Sometimes I miss you.

Sometimes I want to talk to you.

Hold you. Touch you. Feel you. Kiss you.

Sometimes it is you I dream of.

Think of. Long to be with... But I can't.

You now belong to someone else. You are someone else’s dream.

You are in someone else’s thoughts.

You hold someone else. You feel someone else...

You kiss someone else.

And I am crushed, deeply crushed.

But all I can I do is pray. Pray that you are happy.

Pray that she treats you right.

Pray that she treats you better than I could have ever treated you.

Pray that she loves you...

But I also secretly pray...

Pray that one day our destinies will cross and we will never part again.  

I pray because I believe.

I pray because I have faith.

I pray because I have hope.

Hope that never dies, just like my love for you never will...

By: Andréa André (19 May 2011)

What Keeps Me Going In Life

Even when there are clouds in the sky, the sun will still shine :)

Lately I have been feeling very down. Not wanting to go too deep into this, I would rather just associate it with the fact that I am stressed because I am writing my final exams and anything bad that happens to me has the ability to push my "feeling down" button. It is pretty much as if I am hanging on the edge of a mountain.

So much has happened to me in the past month: my friend's death; friendship deceit; exams, that I even wonder how I have been able to handle it all, the way I have been. Actually I do know how, with God's help. But you know how humans usually live under the pretense that they can't go through difficult times "by themselves" and they always need a human anchor in life. I have actually been keeping up pretty well, and all of this alone (in the world). But deep down inside I know that the there was more than extra help, from a higher power which I call the help from God.
I see this because everyday I can wake up with a smile on my face and I can say that better days will come. I might cry, I might sometimes feel empty, but I know that there are a lot of reasons for me not to give up on anything because all this hope and faith I have in God keeps me going and helps me overcome all the bad things I go through in life. I mean, no one said this would be easy and life itself is a challenge. So all I can do is pray and hang in there because I know that at the end of the day, everything will be alright as long as I put my faith and trust in God.

No words can express how much I love you 

I look all around me, nature, my awesome family and my fantastic friends... Why should I even believe that life isn't worth living when everyday I have a reason to smile. They might not always be around me, but I believe that I am in their thoughts and hearts just the same way that they are in mine. So i'm going to keep smiling and being joyous, because I have all the reasons to do that. I will get back up, I will study for my exams, because one hell of a holiday is approaching me and my favourite month of the year (my birthday month) is just around the corner. So NOTHING will bring me down! :)

A minha Mary J q eu tanto amo <3

The world without you all would be a different place....

God Gives and Takes Away

Today I received one of the most depressing news in my life. A friend, Ricardo Formigal, passed away :'( :(
Words can't describe how much I will miss you Ricardo. You were more than just a friend to me and you were extremely special to me. What an exceptional person you were. Always there for everyone whenever everyone needed you. You were always positive and somehow made life seem so much more joyful than it is. The little things gave you the most joy in life.
Words can't begin to describe how much i'll miss you. I already did miss all the afternoons we used to spend together, looking at the city from your balcony. All the talks we had and how you made me smile :) You always knew how to make me feel special. You always knew how to sweep me off my feet... When I was around you, everything just seemed to be somehow... Perfect... And for some foolish reason I think I took that for granted. I was a foolish teenager and human being, in hopes of receiving more than what I had. Not taking in what you taught me, that sometimes in life we should treasure what we have and enjoy the moment, because the simple things are usually the best. And I can say that with a full heart, You were one of the best things that has ever happened to me.


I have your family in my prayers and I pray that you are in a better place now, smiling at the world like you always did to the people around you. Even though I'm sad now for your loss, I will always be happy about having you in my life and i'll be forever thankful for the special moments I had with you. And most importantly Ricardo, I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU...

May your soul rest in peace... :'( You left a mark in everyone's lives that you were a part of.

Adoro-te para sempre meu principe encantado <3

Para Ricardo Formigal... R.I.P.

If I never knew you. If I never felt this love.
I would have no inkling of how precious life can be.
And if I never held you, I would never have a clue how at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me.

In this world so full of fear, full of rage and lies.
I can see the truth so clear in your eyes,
So dry your eyes.

And I'm so grateful to you.
I'd have lived my whole life through lost forever,
If I never knew you.

If I never knew you, I'd be safe but half as real.
Never knowing I could feel a love so strong and true.
I'm so grateful to you I'd have lived my whole life through lost forever,
If I never knew you.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/john_secada_shanice/if_i_never_knew_you.html ]
I thought our love would be so beautiful.
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright.
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong,
All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night
But still my heart is saying we were right...

If I never knew you. If I never knew this love
I would have no inkling of how precious life can be...

There's no moment I regret since the moment that we met.
If our time has gone too fast I've lived at last...

I thought our love would be so beautiful.
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright.
I thought our love would be so beautiful.
We'd turn the darkness into light.
And still my heart is saying we were right...

And If I never knew you.
If I never knew you, I'd have lived my whole life through...
Empty as the sky, never knowing why.
Lost forever, if I never knew you...