R.I.P avô :(

Meu avô. Meu mundo. Meu anjo da guarda. I miss you every single day. It's almost 2 months since you've passed, and this pain doesn't get any easier. I pray for  you every day and I know that you are always right by my side.
I love you, always and forever...

1 Year Into a Lifetime ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

"The expected is what keeps us steady. It's the unexpected that changes our lives forever..." 

O que nós temos, foi muito mais que unexpected e vai durar pra sempre!

The day I met you, I could've never imagined how special you would turn out to be in my life... And now we're here, celebrating our one year anniversary. We're here happier than ever together. Making plans for the future, because our plan in life is to never part each other's side. (At least that's my plan :p lol)

I love you my angel and I want you to know that EVERY second of your life and with every breath you take, just know that I LOVE YOU.

I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order from a restaurant menu. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. It's not because I'm lonely and it's not because it's New Year's Eve...

I am writing this to you because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

I'm a bit speechless to even begin writing about our journey, mas não podia deixar este dia passar em branco. So I'll leave you with a collage and some quotes that mean a lot to me and describe EXACTLY how I feel towards you and the words I sometimes feel I cannot convey to you...

Our first picture together :P Custou tirar! hahahaha

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more. That plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever."

Nós dois SEMPRE doidos! lol

O dia da surpresa! :) Tavas tão feliz meu amor...

We ride together. We die together.

One of our favorite pictures! :) Só no glamour hehehe

I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old, in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime...

I LOVE YOU TILL INFINITY!

Feliz 1 ano de namoro meu Biluzinhu!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

This Type of Love :)

This Type Of Love by Shihan

I want a love like me thinking of you

Thinking of me thinking of you type of love.

Or me telling my friends more than I've ever admitted to myself

About how I feel about you type of love.

Or hating how jealous you are

But loving how much you want me all to yourself type of love.

Or see how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name.

And shit I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you

And I barely made it out of my garage.

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep,

And wonder if she's dreaming about us being in love type of love.

Or who loves the other more,

Or what she's doing this exact moment,

Or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts,

Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good

Could hurt so much when she's not there.

And shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type of love.

And check this, I want to place those little post-it notes

All around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type of love.

And not have enough ink in my pen to write all there is to love about her type of love.

And hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel.

And I want to deal with my friends making fun of me,

The way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of type of love.

Only difference is, this is one of those real type loves.

And just like in high school

I want to spend hours on the phone not saying shit,

And then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me.

And smell her all up in my covers type of love.

I want to try counting the ways I love her

And lose count in the middle just so I have to start  all over again.

And I want to celebrate one of those one month anniversaries

Even though they aren't really anniversaries,

But doing it just because it makes her happy type of love.

And check this, I want to fall in love with the melody the phone plays

When none of us dialed into it type of love.

And talk to you until I lose my breathe.

She leaves me breathless

But with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me. 

I want a love that makes me need to change my cellphone calling plan

To something that allows me to talk to her longer,

Because in all honesty I want to avoid one of them high cellphone bill type of loves.

And I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are.

I mean the lines on my palms don't give me enough time

To love you as long as I'd like to type of love.

And I want a love that makes me st-st-st-st-stutter

Just thinking about how strong this love is type love.

And i want a love that make me want to cut off all my hair,

Well maybe not all of the hair,

Maybe like I cut the split ends and trim my moustache.

But it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her.

And check this, I kind of feel comfortable now.

So I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light,

Just dying to get hit by a car

Just so I could lose my memory.

Get transported to some third world country just to get treated.

Then somehow meet up again with you so I can fall in love with you

In a different language and see if it still feels the same type of love.

I want a love that is unexplainable as she is.

But I'm married, so she's gonna be the one I share this love with.

__________________________________________________________

Dedicated to my boyfriend :)

I love you till infinity ♥

Emotionless

This is a sensitive topic for me to touch on but I just felt like writing today... And what better place to write on, than my blog which I haven't haven't updated in ages!

I usually read posts about fathers... "Appreciate your father, for one day they won't be in this world", "My father is my hero", "I am my dad's little princess" etc. Unfortunately I feel like I don't relate to this post. It hurts me deep inside to even admit that to myself, never mind admitting this to the world...

Don't take me wrong, I love my father. Thanks to him I am in this world and thanks to him I am where I am and I have what I have in life. But quite frankly that's all I can think off in terms of my dad...

I wish I could have more. I wish I could have his affection. I wish I could have his time. I wish he could care about me and show me love just like I see my friends receiving love from their fathers.

I wish I could still have the right to say that besides my age and beside how much time has passed, I am still "Daddy's little girl"... Maybe he has his own way of showing this, as we all know by now, not everybody is the same. But can a father really be this different?

When did this happen? When did things start falling apart?

I remember when I was your little girl and we would always spend weekends together. We would always go on trips together. You always buy me toys and gifts. You always made valentine's day special to me by buying me roses. We would go to work together. We would have discussions about soccer. We would watch the news together. We would play tennis. We would listen to music together. Celine Dion and Don Williams were your favourites. We would go out for lunch/dinner together, without it feeling like it was a business meeting. I was your daughter. You had hope and faith in me. You believed that I could be anything i wanted to be and you always pushed me to follow my dreams. But then somewhere along the way everything just changed... Maybe no one is to blame, but everything changed.

Now I can't even have a simple conversation with you. Just the thought of being with you makes me cringe. Now I don't get to feel as special anymore. I don't have your approval for anything I do in life. I don't get play tennis with you, nor travel with you, nor listen to music with you, not even a single chance to spend genuine quality and happy time with you. Now things are not the same. We are strangers to each other.

Maybe I am to blame. Maybe time just went by too fast and we didn't have a chance to catch up with each others life....

What happened to us? You used to be my father.... I used to be your daughter...

You provided me with shelter, clothes, a good education, some luxuries... But I need more than that. I need love. Love from my father. One of the two people that made it possible for my existence in this world. I need YOU, my father beside me. Listening to me during my tough times in life. Picking me up whenever I feel down. Patiently telling me where I went wrong and leading me the right way in life. I need YOU, my one and only father...

I Found Myself... :)

"21, and I've realized everything you want's not meant to be.
21, then you qualify to stand up to responsibilities.
So I tried to prioritize by deciding what I know is best for me.

And then there's always love that tries to trip you up.
You try to catch yourself before you hit the ground.
But nothings promised.
Friends are there to cheer you up, to give you strength and build you up when you are down.
So I set sail emotion

I say
So long, farewell, my life's moving forward.
My ship has sailed and I'm so glad it's over.
My heart is well after all that I've been through.

I found myself.

I'm looking out for me.
Taking care of my needs.
Life isn't guaranteed.
It's time to start living.
It won't always be the same.
I can't be afraid of change.
You wanna have your way, demand till your satisfied.
You lower your self esteem.
You gotta live your dream.
It's all bout confidence.
To let them know that you can stand up.
You never try.
Learn to express you mind.
Sometimes you gotta fight.
It's your life so don't you give up!"

♥ ♥ ♥ 6 Meses de Felicidade ♥ ♥ ♥

I don’t know where to start and I don’t know what to write because honestly no words can describe how I am feeling now.
Wow what a wonderful journey it has been with you by my side. Every single day I’ve thanked God for putting you in life. You have changed me in so many ways that I could never have imagined I could change. Not to say that before my life had no meaning, but it makes a bit more sense now that you’re a part of it. It’s so amazing to know why so many things went wrong in the past. By putting you in my life, God has answered all my questions to why everything was so messed up before. He  had a better plan for me and that plan was you. I can’t get over the fact that every single day I fall more in love with you than the day before. That’s how it is with you. Each day that goes by is never a dull day. I always discover something that sweeps me off my feet and I know that there is still so much more to you. You’re like a four leaf clover, rare to find but whoever finds it can consider themselves extremely lucky.

6 months... Wow, quem diria. Quer dizer nós ja sabiamos que iriamos chegar aqui e claro q ainda temos muuuuuuuuuuuuuitos mais meses e anos por celebrar juntos. Espero continuar a fazer-te feliz meu amor. Espero continuar a encher-te de mimos, carinho, amor, motivação e muita alegria just like you do.

I truly believe that you complete me and that you are my better half, because you are everything that I have ever asked for and more. May our relationship be blessed and may we grow closer to each other as time goes by. May our dreams come true and may we both be as successful as we plan to be. We have a great life together ahead of us, and all I needed were these 6 perfect months to show me that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Eu amo-te Marcelino. Tu és perfeito para mim e és o amor da minha vida. 

1 Mês de Felicidade =)

Meu Principe, não tenho palavras para expressar o que sinto por ti. Entraste na minha do nada e a tão pouco tempo, and I already know that you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
You make me better. You make me happy. You complete me.
Never in a million years did I think that I would find someone like you, and now I am entirely grateful to God for putting you in my life. Espero poder retribuir tudo o que fazes por mim e proporcionar-te com muito mais.
I miss you each and every single second of my days. I count the days till I'll be with you. I can't wait to have you in my arms. I can't wait to hug you, touch you, feel you and kiss you. Só de pensar, fico toda arrepiada.

This is one month into a lifetime. Continua a ser essa pessoa maravilhosa que tu és e por quem eu apaixonei-me e continuo a apaixonar-me a cada dia que passa =)

ღ ღ ღ ღ Gosto imenso de ti Marcelino Isaac Dgedge... ღ ღ ღ ღ 

Letter to the Man i'll Love

The Past - I've broken a few hearts in my day. I spent years chasing the inconsequential. I was insensitive, selfish and insecure. I was... a girl. One day, I had my own heart broken. I deserved it. For years pain hemorrhaged relentlessly from the wounds of my broken heart, enough to debilitate emotionally without actually killing. I realised I wasn't worthy of you yet. I had to grow up. In time, I accepted I had to prepare myself for you. The man I wanted to be with deserved better than the girl that I was. I had to strive to improve for you. I had to take, fail and then pass life's test. Years later, I emerged weakened but with a new mature perspective on life. I collected the fragments of my shattered heart and used the strength of the hands of time to heal it for you. I had to earn the right to be with you. I had to become a woman worthy of your company. I walked away from loves that weren't as great as what you and I would one day build together. I began my journey filled with emotional turmoil, constant personal reflection and self-doubt. I emerged a woman.


The Present - Every word on Love I've written has been a subconscious dedication in your honour. Every weight I lift, physical and emotional, is meant to ensure I can support you when the time is right. I've reached a point in life, career, and personal growth, where I feel I'm ready for you. But rather than grow complacent, I continue to strive for improvement. I genuinely look forward to being the woman you choose to allow in your life. I vow not to take you or the gravity of your choice for granted. I want you to feel confident in your decision and trust in my words, because my actions always serve to reassure you. I want to remove the doubts you ever had about true Love. It will no longer matter what you went through apart from me. As a part of me, you will trust that I will take care of you.


The Future - I have daydreams of saying "yes" before you with knowledge that we've found something exceptional in each other. Having witnessed the Love we've nurtured, the congratulations of friends and family will flow freely. I imagine how beautiful I'll look on our wedding day. I see myself trembling with anticipation, struggling to hold it together as tears of joy plead for a late invite. I'll stand taller than I've ever stood as the weight of patiently walking towards you, my husband, the man I will Love, finally lifts from my shoulders as I approach you. You will have been worth every passing minute. Standing a mere few feet from my destiny, your hands clasped in mine, in the radiance of your beauty I see reflections of our son's contagious smile. I secretly wonder if the joy in our daughter's eyes will reflect from irises more reminiscent of yours or mine? The melodic rhythm of our unborn children's adolescent laughter is the soundtrack to the visions of the family I look forward to raising with you.


When I finally gather myself I realise, for now, it's all vivid fantasy of the man I'll Love. Sometimes  wonder if you're out there, wherever you are, having similar dreams of our life together...

Universal Language Of Kindness

Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful... :) (: =) (= (",) 

Give me the magic... :)

Fall seven times, stand up eight!

A smile has its own meaning that I can never explain and even you can never understand...

A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last for a lifetime.

A Beautiful Mess*

I chose to upload this song today, because it's a song that really describes what my personality is and usually how I feel.
Jason Mraz is one of my favourite artists and I strongly advise you to take your time and listen to his tracks :)

I'm a beautiful mess... :)

You've got the best of both worlds.
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man, 
And lift him back up again.
You are strong but you're needy, 
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language, 
And shotty cursive I've been reading.
Your style is quite selective, 
Though your mind is rather reckless.
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is.

And what a beautiful mess this is,
It's like we're picking up trash in dresses.

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives.
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction,
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are...

Although you were biased I love your advice.
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities.
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging.

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades,
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard.
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, Here we are.
We're still here. What a beautiful mess this is.
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes.

And through timeless words, and priceless pictures,
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn, and hearts disfigure.
But that's no concern when we're wounded together,
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts.
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.